


Stumbling On and On

by Im_The_Doctor (Bofur1)



Series: Culture Shock [13]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Lost Love, Parallel Universes, Post Episode: s02e13 Doomsday, Searching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-02
Updated: 2013-12-02
Packaged: 2018-01-03 07:36:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1067792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bofur1/pseuds/Im_The_Doctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>...And still I dream he'll come to me,<br/>That we will live the years together<br/>But there are dreams that cannot be<br/>And there are storms we cannot weather...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stumbling On and On

**Rain, rain on my face**  
 **It hasn't stopped raining for days**  
 **My world is a flood**  
 **Slowly I become one with the mud**

 

Rose couldn’t stop crying. Her family had done all they could for her, but she grieved, for time-travel, for the TARDIS, for herself...She wept even in sleep as dreams of her Doctor filled her mind.

In the mornings Rose would wake and wipe her face. Walking along the streets of this parallel world, Rose would seek familiarity. People stepped out of her way, seeing her lost, tear-filled eyes. Sometimes a spark of hope would flare inside when she brushed against a leather jacket or a pinstriped suit—

 

**Downpour on my soul**  
 **Splashing in the ocean, I'm losing control**  
 **Dark sky all around**  
 **I can't feel my feet touching the ground**

 

—but then she would look into the face of the wearer and realize that it was a stranger. Those eyes, however blue or brown they may be, were not _her_ blue or brown. Rose’s heart would break all over again and she would try to apologize, but her lips would burn again with The Doctor’s long-ago kiss and all that came out was a whimper.

Rose would stumble onward, cutting corners and peering into alleys with the slim hope of finding a large blue box that was just big enough to hold all the love she held for its occupant—

 

**Calm the storms that drench my eyes**  
 **Dry the streams still flowing**  
 **Cast down all the waves of sin**  
 **And guilt that overthrow me**

  
—but Rose knew the box would never be there and it never was. Her senses were attuned to the TARDIS’s wheezing and groaning. Now that excited perception of approach was dulled, neglected, imprisoned in the back of Rose’s mind no matter how she tried on her own to free it.

Sometimes for a few seconds she could trick herself but never for long. Often times the coughing would be an elderly stranger or a machine in a coffee shop. Rose would murmur curses without venom under her breath as she stumbled on with the Doctor’s voice in her ears.

 

**Lift me up - when I'm falling**  
 **Lift me up - I'm weak and I'm dying**  
 **Lift me up - I need you to hold me**  
 **Lift me up - Keep me from drowning again**

 

There were times of solace for Rose, times she could actually laugh when the Doctor was mentioned. She would remember his merry eyes, laidback humor, and vibrant smile and the soothing balm of love would be spread over the cracks in her heart.

Then she would remember the anguish and horror that killed any joy in the Doctor’s face as he reached for her and screamed her name. The cracks would deepen, elongate, and Rose wasn’t sure if she could take anymore. Eventually she blamed herself for breaking her two Doctors’ hearts and spent many nights whispering into her pillow, hoping that somehow she would be heard across time and space.

“I’m so, so sorry. I should never have let go...”


End file.
